Saturday, March 31

confidently planned

Bryce and I have a dream for our future:

Short term, Bryce graduates from his Grad school program {WHOOP!}, we get married {WHOOOOP!!}, honeymoon, and then get back in time to relax and celebrate my little brother’s high school graduation.  Long term, a puppy named raider, a move back home to Dallas. It includes children, a new car, travel and fun vacations. 

It’s not set in stone, but it’s laid out pretty smoothly in the sand, and it seems perfectly ideal.

So perfect that it scares me sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder if God is watching us piece together our perfect plans, just waiting to shatter them.  Maybe shatter isn’t the best word. Change.  Change sounds safer, less scary.  Shatter is probably the word I should use though.

shat·ter Verb/ˈSHatər/
1. Break or cause to break suddenly and violently into pieces.
2. Damage or destroy (something abstract): "the crisis will shatter their confidence"

The second example sentence scares every part of me. 

[shatter their confidence]

There is a sinking feeling inside of me that the blessings in my life will be removed from my life.  I always try to sing that verse out of Job “you give and take away…” with such confidence.  However, without fail, I end up tearing up or feeling overwhelmed with fear and anxiety because I know that in my heart, the thought of God taking away the blessings in my life terrifies me.  I don’t want them to be taken from me. 

I don’t want to be asked to prove my love and dedication to Christ.

It’s selfish and shameful to say that.  I hate it about myself.  But if I’m truly being honest, I am terrified of being asked to give everything, or anything, up.   I don’t want him to mess up my plan.

I’m not even brave enough to pray it.  God knows my heart.  He knows when I’m thinking “wait, I don’t actually mean that I’m willing for God to test my heart, so I’m not going to pray it”.  He knows my every thought.  He knows that my heart is aching in fear that someday, a loved one may be taken from me. He knows how terrified I am that I won’t have a job that pays enough to support my J-Crew shopping addiction.  I’m scared my sweet puppy is going to die.  He is fully aware that the thought of living a life without Bryce scares me more than I can even begin to wrap my heart around.

There’s no way that God could fill my life with so many blessings.  There has to be a negative to balance out all of this goodness I have going for me.

And then in the midst of my panic, I am reminded of the goodness of God’s grace and mercy, of his overwhelming love, of his glory and his greatness.

His goodness far exceeds the greatness of my plans.

I am so glad I serve a loving God.  I am so grateful to know that he isn’t human.  He is full of compassion and his kindness is overflowing.  His love is never ending and his grace is sufficient. My soul finds peace and comfort in the blessing of his sovereignty. 

Even as I’m typing this, the Shane and Shane song, “Psalm 145” is cranked up on my macbook.  Don’t you just love when God plays DJ and chooses the perfect song to let your soul sing?

Psalm 145 is full of beautiful reminders of God’s goodness and love: 

“…Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise!  No one can measure his greatness…the Lord is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.  The Lord is good to everyone.  He showers compassion on all his creation…”

Even though I don’t always feel it with 100% confidence, I truly know with all of my heart that my God will always take care of me.  I serve a loving God.  I serve a forgiving God. I am so grateful to know that he isn’t human and that he understands that I am.  He is full of compassion and his kindness is overflowing.  His love is never ending and his grace is fully sufficient.  He has a perfect plan for my life, and I can find confidence in knowing he is completely in control.

[p.s. here's SandS singing Psalm 145.] 

Friday, March 30

high five for friday [3.30.12]

here are my five favorite things from this past week:

i have been listening to my new-ish kari jobe cd non-stop.
i'm sure my office neighbors are ready for me to move on,
but who doesn't need a little more KJ-joy in their life?

i get to meet my friend's new puppy tomorrow!!!
a goldendoodle named tucker.
i'm about to explode with excitement.
i can't wait for our playdate at the park.
[too bad she's not naming him peter,,,then we could go see peter at the park.]

make it or break it came back. yup. i'm a 16 year old girl.
it's my fav. no shame at all.

my invitations are finally ready to go out. ooo man.
it's official. it's really happening.
i wonder if i'll get invited! ;)

have you tried the skinny girl cocktails??
i'm a big fan of all of their cocktails, but my favorite by far is the sangria.
soooo yummy.

happy friday everyone! : )


Thursday, March 29

she said yes!!! bestie is engaged!!!!
steph has starred in many of my posts, but this time, she has a co-star.

how cute are they?!

brad planned the perfect day for his bride-to-be,
and bryce and i were so blessed to be a part of it!

so it just hit me....
brad and steph, bryce and sarah
we are both marrying boys with B names! :)

i love this sweet pair so much, and i am so excited to see what the Lord has in store for them. i know it's going to be amazing and full of fun! : )

Wednesday, March 28

seven weeks to go!

in 52 days, i get to marry this handsome guy:

that's 7 1/2 weeks people...we're finally down to weeks!
everyone said time was going to fly by, and they were right.
but i don't mind one bit.
i'm ready to be a married lady in mexico!!! : )

Tuesday, March 27

lazy and overwhelmed

lately, i've been feeling a tad overwhelmed.
i can't seem to catch up with my to-do list.
last night, when i got back to my apartment, i started unpacking, putting things away, making my to-do list for the week, and then my mini-melt down started.

sometimes, i get so overwhelmed that i can't process anything that is going on.
i end up sitting down on my couch and staring at the wall because i can't figure out where to start.
in reality, i'm not actually that busy.
i'm just not prioritizing my time properly.

i'd rather watch mad men and paint than organize my closet and try to find space for our lovely new wedding gifts. i'd rather sleep than do laundry or dust the picture frames and book cases.

i know that it will be worth it in the end.
i know that if i work hard and accomplish all of the things i want to do for the wedding, i will look back and think it was worth it, and i will have no regrets.
[i can't wait to show you all my projects!]

the solution is for me to stop browsing pinterest.
my boards are not just full, they are overflowing, and if i'm not careful, i'm going to end up with a broken heart.
darn you pinterest and your beautiful and brilliant DIYs,
and your super cute photos of kissing toddlers.

[source unknown]

Monday, March 26

bouncing in biloxi

when we traveled to biloxi for spring break 2012, we weren't anticipating a cold and rainy weekend. but no worries, we didn't let it keep us down! 
we ventured out looking for a fun distraction and came across a dock that went out 100 yards over the gulf.
then we climbed up on the benches, and busted out the cameras.

there is a definite art to achieving a perfect jumping picture.
it takes grace, confidence, and a camera man with a quick trigger finger.



[notice the gray, puffy rain clouds...]

 [tough love is real love...right??]

[looking for cruise ships and fishing boats of course!]

and a fun time was had by all! :)

Sunday, March 25

i'm a hunger games-er :)

yup, i'm a gamer...a hunger games-er! :)
i read [well listed to...] the books multiple times,
convinced all my friends to read them,
read all of the reviews & blogs and watched the trailers a bazillion and a half times.
[and my mama is reading this thinking...shouldn't you be working on your huge wedding-to-do-list and writing thank you notes?? busted...: ) ]

i think i might have been the last person to see it...even though the movie has only been out for a few days. i'm such a slacker, what can i say...
being a sort-of young adult really stinks sometimes.

of all the HG related things floating around the internet, these e-cards are definitely my fav.

i'm sure most of you have already seen these floating around pinterest and such, but i just had to share a few that made me chuckle:

[found here]

and now the wait for catching fire beings.

Saturday, March 24

today is the greatest

the older i get,
the less of a morning person i become.
i really love everything about this print.
i think it would be an excellent thing to see in the morning,
in those few moments of depression between getting out of my bed and taking that first sip of coffee...

Friday, March 23

what to do with a beautiful day

today is a beautiful day.
the sky is the clearest shade of blue i've seen since i moved back to houston,
slight breeze, high of 84.
i need to play!
i also need to write thank you notes,
unpack my suitcases and find the floor of my bedroom,
finish re-reading the hunger games,
and work on wedding projects...
but according to swackett,
it's time to set up a lemonade stand! :)

thank you sweet Lord for this beautiful day.
you are so gracious.

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